Jun 7, 2013
Bernie the Massage Therapist
Leaving his home planet in search of a better life, ץเภ๏tเς, otherwise known as Bernie by his American name, immigrated to Sioux Falls, South Dakota where he obtained his Alien Registration Card. Bernie’s high hopes quickly faded however after realization that the job market was as competitive on Earth as it was on his home planet. Living on the streets and eating in soup kitchens for over 3 months, he had almost given up hope of ever achieving independency until a night of dumpster diving yielded a tiny and hungry kitten. The kitten helped Bernie realize his true calling: providing aromatherapy and deep tissue massage for athletes. With newfound determination to provide for his new friend, Bernie is now a licensed massage therapist and a proud home owner.